Northern Ireland has been in my heart since junior high, ever since I first laid eyes on the national dividing line between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland on a political map. Back then, nobody really wanted to explain why that line was there. Perhaps they did not understand enough about it themselves, or thought the history and the present reality too complex for a middle schooler to understand. But the conflict plagued me. Why would this island be so nongeographically divided? And then when I found out the conflict involved Christians killing Christians, I was greatly disturbed. In between those realizations, I became obsessed with everything Irish, trying to teach myself Irish dancing and forcing my parents to watch many a long movie set in Ireland.
Over the years, as my exposure to other states and other countries expanded, Ireland took a backseat. But Ireland had nestled its way into my heart, and I never quite forgot it. Eventually, when I traveled to England during Bible college, I anticipated the opportunity to fly across the Irish Sea for a weekend, or to go on a week-long mission trip to somewhere in Ireland. But when I got there, I found that our mission trip options did not include Ireland. It had been on the list of possibilities, but the staff had decided against it for whatever reason. Some of the other students suggested that if I really wanted to go, I could push the subject, and they would probably be willing to make arrangements for me. But I felt strangely being the one person to go against their decision, and so I prayed hard about it. And after a day or two of praying, the answer I received was, "You could go, but it would be better if you wait."
And so I waited, and waited. I came back to the States and graduated from Bible college, and began my life in the Central Valley, feeling certain that I was meant to stay here for a time but not forever. Everyone around me started putting down roots, but I found myself unable to. I had seen a huge wide world out there, had learned how to live moment by moment, to adapt. I had met thousands of different people. I had un-learned and re-learned what it meant to be American, and what it meant to be a citizen of the kingdom of Christ. I loved the people around me, but for me to embrace a normal life was to die inside; it was okay for other people, but it was simply not what I was meant to do. I did not have the same desires to settle down and start a family. I had to run the race until the day I died, or else get swallowed up in apathy. I longed for someone with the same heart, but found few, and none were like-minded toward Northern Ireland.
I searched for ways that I might be able to travel to Northern Ireland, including study abroad and Christian organizations, and even emailed a few missionaries already in Ireland. But all of these were geared toward the Republic of Ireland, not toward Northern Ireland. I pursued these paths anyway, figuring that if these were the only routes to Ireland, then God would work out a path somehow from the Republic to Northern Ireland while I was there. But God closed the doors on each opportunity, leaving me stranded with my love for Ireland—a country I had never even been to. Unsure how else to continue on with no route to Northern Ireland in sight, I buried Ireland deep in my heart and put my head down, trying to focus on the present.
Then, last Fall, God directed me toward YWAM. It was an organization I had looked into a couple years before, but had deemed the cost too high. Disheartened and torn, I was reluctant to look into it after all the doors God had already closed. But the Lord would not leave me alone about it, so I asked for the application, and eventually applied. I had a strange confidence after I sent in that application that I would get in, but it was still nerve-wracking waiting for an answer. What if I had heard God wrong? What if this was just me trying to make something happen again? I was not sure I could bear it if this was going to turn out to be yet another closed door... But on January 27th, I received an email telling me I had been accepted!
I am excited to see God finally opening the doors for me to go to Northern Ireland. I have waited half of my life for this moment. But the window of time for me to get my affairs in order is short. YWAM Rostrevor's Discipleship Training School (DTS) begins on Saint Patrick's Day—March 17th—and because of the currency exchange rate with pounds sterling, the cost of the five-month trip appears even steeper than usual. I have only one month to apply for a visa and raise about $11,000! The cost looks enormous to me, but I have to believe that if God is truly calling me to go now, then He will provide.
One way that God often provides is through the body of Christ—His church. If you would like to help financially to send me to Northern Ireland, you can give online here, or you can mail a check made out to "Remedy Church," with "Ireland missions" specified in the memo line, and mail the check to the address below:
Remedy Church
320 S. Crescent Ave.
Lodi, CA 95240
Funds will be handled through my local church called Remedy Lodi, so all donations will be tax deductible.
Whether or not you decide to help me financially, I ask that you please keep me in your prayers. This month is already proving quite difficult for me, trying to balance work with preparations for Northern Ireland. Other things to pray for include the money I need to raise in order to go on this trip, as well as the speedy processing of my U.K. charity visa. While I am in Northern Ireland itself, I will be looking for confirmation that that is where I am to stay permanently, so that is another thing to pray for, as well as adjusting through any culture shock. Please pray that God will prepare my heart for this, yet still keep me focused on what I need to do up until departure. Please also pray for the understanding of people around me, as most people tend to think of Ireland as a vacation spot rather than a mission field in desperate need of the reconciliatory power of God.
Excited about this opportunity finally!
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